Today is a wonderful day. I love the feeling in the air, where it's slightly cool but still sunny and warm enough to wear springtime clothes. I love it. I think the high today is 57, so this morning going to class at about 48, it felt great to me.
I got a good amount of sleep last night, and though I woke up groggy it was again the sunny coolness in the air that "chippered me up," haha. I also decided to wear my gym pants? They're basically gym short material but as long as pants. I love them, they're so light and comfortable, and when I put on my flip flops this afternoon, man, I'll just feel goooood ;-).
One fun thing to mention that might have contributed to my morning chipper was the uplifting and exciting dream I had last night. I dreamt that I could fly a small plane, and I remember taking off, flying around through the sky, and it was SO REAL! The sky was beautiful and clear, and I just coasted along in the sky, taking it all in. then things got a bit more interesting, when I somehow landed in a house that basically had this...huge, open wall on their second floor. So it was like...walking up to a room in a house where one wall, and the ceiling, was missing. After landing here I started walking around and there was a lady sitting on a couch. I fully suspected her to freak out at seeing this random guy in her house, but she just kind of smiled and told me to watch out for the dog. Well, it didn't bother me much because I found that the dog was just a little Pomeranian (sp?) Anyway, so I'm walking around in this house and then I stumble into a few kids, probably 12-15 years old, and we start playing games in their downstairs. I don't remember anything specific, but we were just hanging out, talking and stuff. Also, I found it humorous that they were all black. haha, maybe cause I hung out with Ramsey last night? hahaha, idk....Anyway, so then somehow Pastor Ronnie showed up. BUt it was about that time that I realized dusk was setting in, and I was like "O crap, I can't fly home in the dark!" So I start getting ready to fly back, all the while also realizing that i have no idea even HOW to get back, since I basically stumbled on this house by accident. And that's about when I woke up; dusk outside, trying to figure out how to fly back. A fun dream all and all :-)
So anyway, considering that and other things, today just feels like a good day. Of course, sort of hovering over my horizon are the questions of what I'mgoing to do this summer. What can I do to make as much money as possible? And perhaps more importantly, will I be able to start making money this fall that makes me less dependent on Stafford loans? Ultimately that is my prayer. But right now there are definitely many options out there, and I"m just praying for God to show me what to do or just what to wait on.
So today's a good day; I pray maybe it'll be capped off by some more direction for the coming months :-)
Friday, March 26, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Remember Me
I still remember him so well, even unto this day.
But to tell you the truth, he'd be pretty hard to forget.
I mean, yeah he was one of those guys that did a lot of good while he was around.
But it's that last time with him that....
Gosh,
I just can't get out of my head.
You know, I suppose you always think the last time you talk to someone,
And they know their time has come, that those words are going to mean something:
They're going to shake you.
But with him....
It was different
Even painful..
And to this day, they haven't left me.
Ha, how could they!
You see, I'm sure most would agree that a dying loved one looking you in the eyes and saying
"Remember me" would leave quite the mark.
Indeed, such words have probably moved many to greatness in memory of their lost loved one.
But his words...
Have not just challenged me;
They've challenged the world.
How could one say such selfless...
Such incredibly selfless things!
I mean, this was his life he was talking about, and here he was telling us that he was
CHOOSING to give it over to us!
And yet there they were, those words of love I am yet able to understand,
But that will be with me, for the rest of my life..
"This is my body, which is broken...
For you.
This is my blood, which is poured out...
For you...
Remember me."
But to tell you the truth, he'd be pretty hard to forget.
I mean, yeah he was one of those guys that did a lot of good while he was around.
But it's that last time with him that....
Gosh,
I just can't get out of my head.
You know, I suppose you always think the last time you talk to someone,
And they know their time has come, that those words are going to mean something:
They're going to shake you.
But with him....
It was different
Even painful..
And to this day, they haven't left me.
Ha, how could they!
You see, I'm sure most would agree that a dying loved one looking you in the eyes and saying
"Remember me" would leave quite the mark.
Indeed, such words have probably moved many to greatness in memory of their lost loved one.
But his words...
Have not just challenged me;
They've challenged the world.
How could one say such selfless...
Such incredibly selfless things!
I mean, this was his life he was talking about, and here he was telling us that he was
CHOOSING to give it over to us!
And yet there they were, those words of love I am yet able to understand,
But that will be with me, for the rest of my life..
"This is my body, which is broken...
For you.
This is my blood, which is poured out...
For you...
Remember me."
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Sledding! :-)
So today I did something I haven't done since I think I was 12; went sledding! :-)
I took my mentee, Sal, and met up with Kate at the big hill across from CBC.
I'll be honest and say I was a little unsure if I was going to have any kind of effective sled, but then this morning Kate said her friends had recommended trash bags.
Man, did they work!
But what was really cool was the sled I made;
I took a tarp I've had for like two years and never used and wrapped it around a bulletin board. I then tied the tarp tightly around it with rope. Sadly though, after doing that last night I was still thinking "I'm not sure if this is going to work...it's probably just too big, flat and heavy."
Well, problem solved when I put a trash bag over it!
Man, because that thing weighed a pretty good bit and then had something with very little friction wrapped around it, it flew down the hill.
Which caused too funny stories;
1 - the first time I went down on my butt on that thing, I flew off the ledge at the end of the hill. Little did I know it was concrete down there; so I FLOPPED on my butt. Yep, my tail bone still hurts :/. Just glad I didn't hit it harder!
2 - After that I learned how to basically role off and not fly off the ledge. So I was pretty confident when Kate tried it that there would be no problem. Haha...nope....
She went flying off the ledge and did like a 180 body flap down there in the mud... She lost her keys and stuff for a second.
She wasn't too happy with me on the walk up :-) haha....
So anyway, all in all it was a pretty awesome time.
And I think my sled deserves a prize for the day or something :-)
I took my mentee, Sal, and met up with Kate at the big hill across from CBC.
I'll be honest and say I was a little unsure if I was going to have any kind of effective sled, but then this morning Kate said her friends had recommended trash bags.
Man, did they work!
But what was really cool was the sled I made;
I took a tarp I've had for like two years and never used and wrapped it around a bulletin board. I then tied the tarp tightly around it with rope. Sadly though, after doing that last night I was still thinking "I'm not sure if this is going to work...it's probably just too big, flat and heavy."
Well, problem solved when I put a trash bag over it!
Man, because that thing weighed a pretty good bit and then had something with very little friction wrapped around it, it flew down the hill.
Which caused too funny stories;
1 - the first time I went down on my butt on that thing, I flew off the ledge at the end of the hill. Little did I know it was concrete down there; so I FLOPPED on my butt. Yep, my tail bone still hurts :/. Just glad I didn't hit it harder!
2 - After that I learned how to basically role off and not fly off the ledge. So I was pretty confident when Kate tried it that there would be no problem. Haha...nope....
She went flying off the ledge and did like a 180 body flap down there in the mud... She lost her keys and stuff for a second.
She wasn't too happy with me on the walk up :-) haha....
So anyway, all in all it was a pretty awesome time.
And I think my sled deserves a prize for the day or something :-)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Prayer
Intimacy is about listening. Truly, about listening. Yes we have to engage, but I think so often we forget that in order to be intimate, we have to soak up the other person. We have to enjoy them, just because they're there, and we can't do that if we're so focused on ourselves that we don't give them a moment to speak: if we don't stop one moment and listen.
And yet I so often find myself having this problem in my time with God. I forget that He's there, and He wants to spend time with me, honestly, much more than I could ever want to spend time with Him. Yet, so often...I never stop and let Him spend time with me. It's always about my time with Him.
Sometimes we just need to sit back,
And listen.
And it's not just about Him speaking to you, in some direct, audible sense. It' just about...letting Him be there. His presence, is sufficient. I know that sounds basic, but man, so often that I miss that. That I miss that it's just about....letting Him be there, and to stop trying to ask Him for things. To stop trying to seek Him for things, to stop consuming my thoughts with how I can come to Him, but sit back and let Him come to me. So much of this life, I think, is about communion with God. Well, I suppose it all is at its root, but the reality is that that deep, intimate communion cannot be engaged in 24/7. It's only when we take the time to go to our prayer closet, and truly seek Him, and then let Him be found, that we have that. It's the only time that I have it, and sadly I realize how often I'm engaged in that time only allowing it to be all about me, and not Him.
My prayer is that I can learn to fix that.
And yet I so often find myself having this problem in my time with God. I forget that He's there, and He wants to spend time with me, honestly, much more than I could ever want to spend time with Him. Yet, so often...I never stop and let Him spend time with me. It's always about my time with Him.
Sometimes we just need to sit back,
And listen.
And it's not just about Him speaking to you, in some direct, audible sense. It' just about...letting Him be there. His presence, is sufficient. I know that sounds basic, but man, so often that I miss that. That I miss that it's just about....letting Him be there, and to stop trying to ask Him for things. To stop trying to seek Him for things, to stop consuming my thoughts with how I can come to Him, but sit back and let Him come to me. So much of this life, I think, is about communion with God. Well, I suppose it all is at its root, but the reality is that that deep, intimate communion cannot be engaged in 24/7. It's only when we take the time to go to our prayer closet, and truly seek Him, and then let Him be found, that we have that. It's the only time that I have it, and sadly I realize how often I'm engaged in that time only allowing it to be all about me, and not Him.
My prayer is that I can learn to fix that.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
A good relationship
A good relationship is a wonderful thing.
I never would have imagined I would have been humbled this many times, and had to deal with my own imperfections this many times, as I have in being in a healthy relationship.
It's so often when you both come forward with your respective realizations of your shortcomings. When you both realize that there are things about your personality, or certain behavioral patterns that you've developed, that simply aren't the most relationally endearing as you would like them to be. It's just so wonderful when you come into a conversation thinking that the other person might be offended or get mad at you, but is instead glad that you brought it up and is willing to work on it and get better. That, quite simply, they care tremendously for you and are willing to do anything they can for you to make sure that this relationship stays healthy and joyous. It's just such an awesome thing.
And then even though you come away knowing a glaring flaw of yours might have just been plastered before both you and her to be worked on, the fact is that you've gained an insight into yourself to help better yourself, and a window into a way to continue to grow closer to someone that you value in so many ways. I suppose it's a fairly basic relationship fact, but problems either push you further away or draw you closer together. And in my case, it seems that again and again, we keep getting closer, and closer, and closer.
Truly, a healthy relationship is a wonderful thing :-)
I never would have imagined I would have been humbled this many times, and had to deal with my own imperfections this many times, as I have in being in a healthy relationship.
It's so often when you both come forward with your respective realizations of your shortcomings. When you both realize that there are things about your personality, or certain behavioral patterns that you've developed, that simply aren't the most relationally endearing as you would like them to be. It's just so wonderful when you come into a conversation thinking that the other person might be offended or get mad at you, but is instead glad that you brought it up and is willing to work on it and get better. That, quite simply, they care tremendously for you and are willing to do anything they can for you to make sure that this relationship stays healthy and joyous. It's just such an awesome thing.
And then even though you come away knowing a glaring flaw of yours might have just been plastered before both you and her to be worked on, the fact is that you've gained an insight into yourself to help better yourself, and a window into a way to continue to grow closer to someone that you value in so many ways. I suppose it's a fairly basic relationship fact, but problems either push you further away or draw you closer together. And in my case, it seems that again and again, we keep getting closer, and closer, and closer.
Truly, a healthy relationship is a wonderful thing :-)
Thursday, January 21, 2010
Que me está llamando con fuerza
Hay algo en mi espiritu, y me está quemando con fuerza.
Hay un poder dentro de mis huesos, y me está rompiendo con fuerza.
Hay un deseo en mi ser, y a mí me clama gritando:
"Hay algo, y es Mi Espiritu, que te está llamando con fuerza."
Hay un poder dentro de mis huesos, y me está rompiendo con fuerza.
Hay un deseo en mi ser, y a mí me clama gritando:
"Hay algo, y es Mi Espiritu, que te está llamando con fuerza."
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Run Run Run!
So I did something I haven't done in a while today; run.
See, back in the day, mainly my freshman and sophomore years of college, I used to run a mile and a half fairly regularly. I particularly remember my freshman year, in which I really grew to love the "after run" feel and really just felt pretty healthy for some time.
Well, the only problem was that since my hips are crooked, I eventually gave up running because my lower back and hips would start to get sore in some weird places. It just didn't feel normal. It really kind of sucked, because it's hard to find anything that so quickly gets your heart rate up super high and leaves you soaked with sweat. Mmm endorphins :-)
So anyway, my chiropractor here in Springfield gave me a lift to put in my left shoe so that my hips don't hit the ground so crooked anymore (basically my left leg stretched down further than my right) Because of this, running shouldn't be the problem for me that it used to be. So....
I started back tonight. It was nice; I felt great afterwards and everything. But the sad thing is that back in the day, I would basically go outside and at least run a mile on cold legs. Nowadays...it just doesn't happen.
See, back in December Kate and I ran a few times, and the first time around I about killed myself to run 3/4 a mile. Yeah, sad. Worse yet, that "good"feeling after running didn't come. I basically just felt light headed and sick afterwards. My chest, throat, and everything hurt from the heavy breathing . My body just wasn't running prepared anymore... So...
We ran again a couple days later, and I had the same results. Now, in all of my running history, though I have always hated (mostly) running itself, I have learned to love it for the feeling afterwards. Well, now for whatever reason even that was gone. I guess my body was so out of shape or something that I just couldn't get back into like I used to.
Anyways, so I say all that to say that when I ran tonight, I ran a whopping 2 1/4 laps on a track. Meaning I ran like...barely over half of a mile. Yep, pitiful. Very pitiful. But even with THAT, my chest and everything was hurting. I felt great afterwards, but it was only after some time of letting my chest calm down. So the question I've been wondering is "why the heck is my body struggling with it so much more now? Even back in the day if it killed my legs, I still felt great after a mile, now I feel horrible after a half mile!"
Well, here's my main theory; my lungs, particularly my right lung, have not 100% recovered from the Chilean cold of death I had a year and a half ago. When that cold began to change into pneumonia (I'm pretty sure it was on its way) all of the rattling that I heard in my lungs was in my right lung. Secondly, when my back muscles were getting torn to shreads, it was particularly my right side that got screwed up. There was a particular spot on my lower ribs that sometimes would hurt whether or not I coughed; it would be oober sensitive at all times no matter what (on the bad days). Well, tonight when I ran I realized a couple very telling things: one, that when my chest was hurting/struggling during and after running, it was almost solely on my right side. It felt like my right lung was really hurting. Secondly, I coughed later and the same spot that used to hurt when I had that cold actually cramped up (sad day I know). Finally, ever since that cold (this is gross to some, I'm sorry) it's been only for very short periods of time that all color has left my mucus. Yes, for a year a half, yellow to green somethings when I blew my nose were fairly regular. Well, tonight after running I was still coughing stuff up a bit, and it was mainly my right side that felt like it was cramping a bit, and even felt like I was weezing a bit sometimes. LIke..my right lung if I breathed out a lot, didn't seem to be able to breath out at full capacity.
So yep, that's my theory; I think the lack of running since that trip has not pushed my respiratory system to re-strengthen to full potential again. SOOOO the plan is, I plan on continuing to run now, and hopefully it shouldn't be long before these lungs come back to full power :-)
See, back in the day, mainly my freshman and sophomore years of college, I used to run a mile and a half fairly regularly. I particularly remember my freshman year, in which I really grew to love the "after run" feel and really just felt pretty healthy for some time.
Well, the only problem was that since my hips are crooked, I eventually gave up running because my lower back and hips would start to get sore in some weird places. It just didn't feel normal. It really kind of sucked, because it's hard to find anything that so quickly gets your heart rate up super high and leaves you soaked with sweat. Mmm endorphins :-)
So anyway, my chiropractor here in Springfield gave me a lift to put in my left shoe so that my hips don't hit the ground so crooked anymore (basically my left leg stretched down further than my right) Because of this, running shouldn't be the problem for me that it used to be. So....
I started back tonight. It was nice; I felt great afterwards and everything. But the sad thing is that back in the day, I would basically go outside and at least run a mile on cold legs. Nowadays...it just doesn't happen.
See, back in December Kate and I ran a few times, and the first time around I about killed myself to run 3/4 a mile. Yeah, sad. Worse yet, that "good"feeling after running didn't come. I basically just felt light headed and sick afterwards. My chest, throat, and everything hurt from the heavy breathing . My body just wasn't running prepared anymore... So...
We ran again a couple days later, and I had the same results. Now, in all of my running history, though I have always hated (mostly) running itself, I have learned to love it for the feeling afterwards. Well, now for whatever reason even that was gone. I guess my body was so out of shape or something that I just couldn't get back into like I used to.
Anyways, so I say all that to say that when I ran tonight, I ran a whopping 2 1/4 laps on a track. Meaning I ran like...barely over half of a mile. Yep, pitiful. Very pitiful. But even with THAT, my chest and everything was hurting. I felt great afterwards, but it was only after some time of letting my chest calm down. So the question I've been wondering is "why the heck is my body struggling with it so much more now? Even back in the day if it killed my legs, I still felt great after a mile, now I feel horrible after a half mile!"
Well, here's my main theory; my lungs, particularly my right lung, have not 100% recovered from the Chilean cold of death I had a year and a half ago. When that cold began to change into pneumonia (I'm pretty sure it was on its way) all of the rattling that I heard in my lungs was in my right lung. Secondly, when my back muscles were getting torn to shreads, it was particularly my right side that got screwed up. There was a particular spot on my lower ribs that sometimes would hurt whether or not I coughed; it would be oober sensitive at all times no matter what (on the bad days). Well, tonight when I ran I realized a couple very telling things: one, that when my chest was hurting/struggling during and after running, it was almost solely on my right side. It felt like my right lung was really hurting. Secondly, I coughed later and the same spot that used to hurt when I had that cold actually cramped up (sad day I know). Finally, ever since that cold (this is gross to some, I'm sorry) it's been only for very short periods of time that all color has left my mucus. Yes, for a year a half, yellow to green somethings when I blew my nose were fairly regular. Well, tonight after running I was still coughing stuff up a bit, and it was mainly my right side that felt like it was cramping a bit, and even felt like I was weezing a bit sometimes. LIke..my right lung if I breathed out a lot, didn't seem to be able to breath out at full capacity.
So yep, that's my theory; I think the lack of running since that trip has not pushed my respiratory system to re-strengthen to full potential again. SOOOO the plan is, I plan on continuing to run now, and hopefully it shouldn't be long before these lungs come back to full power :-)
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